Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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