She went from zero to smokin in five shots
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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