so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
