i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
