wat bout pragnant strippers??
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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