Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
