you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
