i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
