I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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