If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
