I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I supernannyed him into submission
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
