got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I want to fling myself into the sun
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
