Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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