Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
