in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
