woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
