Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
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