i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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