I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
