fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
As shirtless as possible
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Ladies don't puke and tell
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
