last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
