if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
