I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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