Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
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