i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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