Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
she looked like the before picture.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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