it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
