see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
