wrigley field is MILF paradise
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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