ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize