I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize