you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
