TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
