I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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