very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
