I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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