I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
