my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
