i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
