Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
