turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
