He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
