So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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