i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
