wakey wakey hands off snakey
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
