She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
