I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
