hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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