do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
