so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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