winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize