If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
my poor anus
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize