Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
