Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Randomize
