I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
