I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize