i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Green mimosas i think yes
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
