OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
